Stages of Grief Write For Us
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first anticipated the five stages of grief typical in her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying.” The model has been widely used to understand the grieving process, but it has also been criticized for being too simplistic and suggesting that grief is a linear process.
Moreover, research has shown that people may practice different emotions simultaneously, and the grieving process may go back and forth between different stages.
Despite its limitations, the five stages of the grief model can be a helpful tool for understanding the grieving process. It can help people to identify the emotions they are feeling and to normalize their experience of grief.
The Five Stages of Grief
Denial
- Feeling numb or detached from reality.
- Refusing to believe that the loss has happened.
- Making excuses or rationalizations.
For example, someone who has lost a loved one may say, “This can’t be happening. They’re not gone.” or “They’re just away on a trip.”
Anger
- Feeling furious, resentful, or even rageful.
- Blaming others for the loss.
- Having angry outbursts.
For example, someone who has lost a job may say, “This is so unfair! I can’t believe I lost my job.” or “It’s all my boss’s fault. He never liked me.”
Bargaining
- Making deals with God or the universe in exchange for reversed loss.
- Trying to change the past.
- Fantasizing about hives what could have been.
For example, a person dying of cancer may say, “If I can just live to see my daughter graduate from college, then I’ll be okay.” or “I promise to be a better person if you just let me live.”
Depression
- Feeling hopeless, helpless, and worthless.
- Losing interest in once enjoyable activities.
- Having trouble sleeping or eating.
For example, someone who has lost a spouse may say, “I don’t know how I’m going to go on without her.” or “I don’t see the point in living anymore.”
Acceptance
- Coming to terms with the loss.
- Letting go of the past.
- Finding meaning in the loss.
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